New "Quotes to live by"

"Therefore I will trust Him. Whatever, wherever I am. I cannot be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him; in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him; if I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends, He may throw me among strangers, He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me -- still He knows what He is about.”
- Cardinal Newman

Turning 4

We got Braden's school pictures back about a month ago. They were so cute that we ordered the big pack and the CD so we could do the online thing with them. Here they are for all to enjoy. Our amazing little boy who just turned 4. So so lucky we are to have him in our lives. Here are the things we are seeing at 4:

- Taught himself to swim this week in Palm Springs. 1 foot pool, a week to practice and a boy with goggles = fish.
- Is finally, on the good days, CLEANING UP! (yes by that i mean actually putting the toys back in the basket after he's dumped them all over the floor. it's taken years my friends, years. and i imagine years more...but we have a start here, so I'm documenting it as a kind of success)
- Is still in love with Spiderman. But also now has a significant thing for Transformers. Appreciates Batman. Just found out about Pokemon. And loves Hot Wheels.
- Is way into playing basketball with his Daddy and the guys every Thursday night at a gym. He has his own basketball shoes and outfit and takes it very seriously. Though we suspect the guy time is what he values the most.
- Can WRITE HIS NAME!!!!!!!! Sort of. Well, with help. But I've got proof I'm carefully preserving for a Braden art album. Which would require that he produce art for me to make this album. We're working on that. He also draws people, but prefers to draw Spiderman.
- Says "Mommy I love you the best!" if I give him candy. If I do not give candy says "I don't like you! You're being rude!"
- Is blessed by his 7 year old next door neighbor Ty. Who gives him all his old clothes and toys. Like once a week his mom comes over with more stuff! Ty also happens to really really like Braden and of course vice versa. They are buddies and rule our street together. And I think his Mom is hilarious. We like to chat while gardening and working on our yards.
- Has a girl friend across the street named Rachel. She has red hair and is the sweetest thing and is almost the exact same age as Braden. They are going to go to Kindergarten together and her mom and I are already planning their future.
- His bestest buddy continues to be Willem. Which many of you hear him say and say "What?". But it's a name, his friends name which he still pronounces "Wowem" which confuses everyone. But a close second is his buddies Connell, Micah, Kasper, Gavin, Simeon and a bunch more boys that I am realizing are going to become more and more part of our life as he grows up. Bring on the boys! (but thank God for our girl neighbor)
- Prays every night, "Thank you Jesus for our family; Mommy, Daddy, Kody and Jasper. And for our house". Apparently home is where his heart is as every vacation a few days into it he gets home sick and wants to go home and see his pets and have Mommy AND Daddy there. :)
- I like 4.

Spiderman is sleeping

Today we threw our son a 4 year old Spiderman birthday party. It was one of the funnest things I've ever done in my life. I love planning things, decorating, and playing with kids. Not to mention I've wanted a child my whole life to do this kind of thing with, he's finally old enough to really enjoy the whole thing. So, I dove in head first and have been collecting Spiderman things for 2 weeks and thinking through how it would all work so kids were having a blast, adults weren't wondering when it would end, and my little man wouldn't have an all out melt down in overwhelment. It went as well as I could have hoped (with much thanks and credit to some dear friends that helped).

I am exhausted. My feet hurt like crazy up my legs kind of owie. My voice is tired. I've washed my hands so many times I can't count 'cause I just feel dirty. But I am alive inside. Keep thinking of each kid and how the party was for them and if they felt included and cared for. Seeing Braden's face when the whole house was singing happy birthday to him (I love that humble grateful look of disbelief people get when others lavish love on them). Watching 20 kids go nuts with silly string on the "bad guys" and then turn on each other with perma grins on their faces. Seeing old and new adult friends connecting or reconnecting. Being one with my hubby on things like "trashbags now", "camera moment", "fix the pinata please", and "holy moly this is crazy!" without using many if any words. And watching Braden go and hug kids randomly on the moments when the buzz of party wasn't overtaking him and it occurred to him that he really liked someone else and was glad they came.

As my Spidey boy is down to sleep now and I am rehashing the day I realize, I forgot to pray. I had it planned in my little Karen schedule, but of course I forgot. A tradition we started on his one year old birthday...praying gratefulness for his life and praying for him to grow in wisdom and character. And thanking the birth parents who gave us this most precious of gifts. So tonight as he dreams here is my prayer:

O Lord our God, we are thankful. Thankful for this handsome sweet boy you have given us. We are so proud of him! He is growing so much and changing every day. Each day becoming kinder, learning more, asking great questions, and giving so much love. Thank you Lord for his birth parents Erin and Ben who gave him life and had the courage and heart to gift us with our precious son. Thank you for grandparents and aunties, uncles and cousins who bless us all the time and who love Braden so much. Thank you for these friends and neighbors who have walked with us through the years, and have celebrated and grieved with us along the way. Today is a day to celebrate. The life of Braden Andrew Rogers. He is our special boy and has grown up to be 4 years old. Lord God may you walk with him closely this next year of his life, teaching him and taking care of him along the way. Give him interest to know you more and to treat people with love. May he feel loved through us, our little family, every day and be growing roots that will last his lifetime. We praise you God in heaven for sending your son Jesus to die for us so that we can live. May Braden's life always be a reminder of new life amidst impossible circumstances. New life of your son Jesus as his birthday falls so close to Easter. We love you and live for you Jesus. Thank you so very much for our Braden. Amen.

New quote to live by

"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." - Plato

We should play more. I'm going to play more. You can tell a lot about a person on whether or not they can play. If someone wants to get together to know me better this month, maybe instead of coffee (hot chocolate in my case) I'll invite them to something fun like...man, I can't even think of ideas! That's so pathetic! Help me out here. Maybe coffee is as fun as it gets this time of year. But in the summer what about a picnic at the park instead of lunch at a restaurant? You know, something to shake it up a bit and just be....ourselves. Dorky, human, funny little creatures that we are.

Seriously, when was the last time you really laughed and played with people? And what is your best memory of your friend? Was it in a really deep conversation or was it when you did something ridiculous with them? For me, its always the hilariously silly moments I remember best. And I don't think I'm shallow (by all means let me know if I am). Our staff Christmas party or summer beach trip is my favorite time of the year to be with our staff. It's different than office/Sunday life. And we have a great staff of non-fake, interesting and freaking funny people. But still, you get them out of their element and everyone is just a little silly and stoked to just be together without anything else weighing on them. More to the point, they are really themselves. Trying to play volleyball in the sand, or hanging with their spouse at a party eating food they like and telling stories they think are funny, or challenging each other to a bouncy obstacle course at a volunteer picnic. I like silly and laughter and....play. I want to play more.